I know what you’re thinking, you’ve got too much time on your hands, Neil ha
A little bit of fun to hopefully make you chuckle during these tough and stormy times, we all need a laugh don’t we?
I have always kept my eye on politics, and I started to wonder who I would pick from the football world to serve the country with me
Give me your thoughts on Twitter, and when its time for a reshuffle I might take some of your ideas on board
Deputy Prime Minister – Simon Jordan
Simon is someone I would want in the trenches with me, very loyal , very smart, trust him completely. And he would be ready to step into my shoes when I needed to go fishing
Chancellor – Karen Brady
Knows the value of a pound note, and would definitely not overspend and risk damage to the economy. Pretty sure she could get the price of petrol down too!
Foreign Secretary – Arsene Wenger
Arsene is pure class, a great ambassador and would charm the socks off anyone, even Piers Morgan
Home Secretary- Gary Neville
Gary is a very passionate, patriotic and hard working lad, and would definitely have the countries best interests at heart. Added benefit is expenses would be lower for him as he has his own hotels and restaurants
Minister of Defence – Sol Bamba
Who else could I have in charge of Defence? Sol would be supported admirably by Jags, Morgs and Shorty ,and Paddy if we need a keeper
Health Secretary – Howard Webb
Did a lot of running about in his career and always looked as fit as a fiddle. Bit of trouble with his eyesight from time to time, but hopefully in his new role he can get an appointment to get it sorted quicker than the rest of us can
I recommend a long drive to Barnard Castle, cures all known eye problems
Business Secretary – Daniel Levy
Tough negotiator with other peoples money, and like Lady Karen definitely knows the value of a quid!
Not bothered about being popular either, which is lucky
Int Trade Secretary – Jose Mourinho
Jose is a great negotiator and will defy the critics again by securing the biggest and most special trade deals in history.
Hopefully that includes with Portugal, I love their wine and have shared a few bottles with Jose over the years
Education Secretary – Gareth Southgate
Gareth is great at getting the best out of youngsters, very knowledgeable and articulate with a calming manner
And I do like those waistcoats, will have to send him my sizes
To come and see me live, buy tickets here: https://www.universe.com/users/ecm-XSG2T8
Spot on